[ There's a bit of time before the next texts comes. ]
D, I'd like you to be honest with me. Was going to find out the whole deal behind the reincarnation the only reason you did this? Particularly without mentioning it to me or Nara'a first?
[ It's clear that pause may have been her reflecting on a few... well, hints that something was off. Such as D doing this at all. Or the dhampir having been so insistent and pleased about the cursed bite that suddenly bringing an end to it is as much a complete 180 in attitude as him doing it in the first place. ]
[ On her side, Gaia looked at the screen of the omni and exhaled softly. Well, at least he was honest. ]
I'm sorry, D. I should have looked harder in the time I had.
[ Two weeks. She had plenty of time to seek out resources or ask around Sanctuary. That she'd gotten caught up in the newfound power was.. it'd not been a pleasant experience, the shock of the curse ending and the distinct awareness that she had done just about nothing she had told herself she would do. Even now it brings a flush of embarrassment and shame. ]
I don't have any excuse. It certainly wasn't my best moment. Did you find out why you did it? I guess, since... you know. You must be feeling differently about it too.
Even options to remove a cursed bite that doesn't end in dying? I can't even imagine that man trying to do something so kind.
[ And having it cured doesn't mean she'll not make an effort to look for solutions. Talking about other things distracts her from the personal guilt however. ]
And you don't want to talk about it. [ Yeah, she knows the signs. ] I know as Sleepers, our blood does us no favors. Even the natives get affected by the changing moons.
[ And there was her whole episode with psychometry the other month which neither of them are probably soon to forget. There is one more text sent shortly after the first. ]
You should come visit again. Soon. I'll have the tea you like ready.
[ Another message quickly follows as if she realizes that might need a little more explanation. ]
I know I wasn't the same under the curse. So there is reason to question that. And even then I knew what you did was not something you'd have done without some outside influence. And I know what you are and the risks in being close to you. I think you understand that I would know better than anyone here.
But you are my friend, D. And that hasn't changed.
It could happen again, even if you do taste terrible.
[The problem is that she smells and looks edible and now D knows what it feels like to sink his fangs into her throat. Even if the memory is tempered by that awful sweet but not sweet taste.]
Yes, I'm well aware it can happen again. The point is that it could always happen.
[ While she might wonder whether the bit about tasting terrible were an attempt at humor- she has doubts- Gaia decides to stick to a more serious response. ]
Setting aside any thoughts of doing something for my safety or my sake, do you want to end our friendship and keep distance? I mean what would you honestly like to do?
Yes it's selfish, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily bad. And I'd prefer you to be honest. Though I at least hope you still want to be friends.
I just hope you understand that you don't have to nor do I want you to. But... I also don't want guilt you about it either. I mean if it makes you unhappy just to get close for my sake, I'd hardly want that.
[ And she certainly remembers the conversation they had commiserating how people have tried to make them conform. ]
But I'm also going to remind you that I've attacked the people I came to know as friends while I've been under someone or something else's influence back on my world. Twice, in fact and nothing to do with Trench. So it's not just a burden I'm taking from the memories I was given about you.
What your intentions are when you're yourself has been what's important to me. So... at least think about that.
Honestly, I think I'd feel the same way. About the bite, I mean. Even if it was because of something else.
I mean, just because I didn't want to attack my friends or did it because of someone else's influence doesn't mean I didn't. That will always be a burden on me. It was their decision to accept me despite what happened.
[ The response appears to warrant some though or collection of emotions. It's a bit before Gaia responds again. ]
I won't say I'm not frustrated by that answer. But that would defeat the purpose of asking in the first place.
Given I'm asking a lot of you to even think about it, I thought I should at least improve my awareness. Friendship shouldn't be a burden. Much less one someone bears all the responsibility for.
[ After a second another text quickly arrives. ]
Okay I'll admit that made more sense in my thoughts.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-08-08 10:01 am (UTC)Wait, what? Just out of the blue? While everything about coming back was messed up in the first place?
That doesn't sound like your most brilliant plan, D. You did come back how you normally are, didn't you?
[ Of course she sounds angry now, but the text seems to point to her being upset that he did something very risky. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-12 10:04 am (UTC)[ There's a bit of time before the next texts comes. ]
D, I'd like you to be honest with me. Was going to find out the whole deal behind the reincarnation the only reason you did this? Particularly without mentioning it to me or Nara'a first?
[ It's clear that pause may have been her reflecting on a few... well, hints that something was off. Such as D doing this at all. Or the dhampir having been so insistent and pleased about the cursed bite that suddenly bringing an end to it is as much a complete 180 in attitude as him doing it in the first place. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-08-13 07:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-13 10:59 am (UTC)I'm sorry, D. I should have looked harder in the time I had.
[ Two weeks. She had plenty of time to seek out resources or ask around Sanctuary. That she'd gotten caught up in the newfound power was.. it'd not been a pleasant experience, the shock of the curse ending and the distinct awareness that she had done just about nothing she had told herself she would do. Even now it brings a flush of embarrassment and shame. ]
I don't have any excuse. It certainly wasn't my best moment. Did you find out why you did it? I guess, since... you know. You must be feeling differently about it too.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-14 04:40 am (UTC)[Gaia knows which he D is talking about.]
I did.
[But he's probably not going to share why.]
no subject
Date: 2022-08-14 07:51 am (UTC)[ And having it cured doesn't mean she'll not make an effort to look for solutions. Talking about other things distracts her from the personal guilt however. ]
And you don't want to talk about it. [ Yeah, she knows the signs. ] I know as Sleepers, our blood does us no favors. Even the natives get affected by the changing moons.
[ And there was her whole episode with psychometry the other month which neither of them are probably soon to forget. There is one more text sent shortly after the first. ]
You should come visit again. Soon. I'll have the tea you like ready.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-15 02:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-16 09:00 pm (UTC)[ Another message quickly follows as if she realizes that might need a little more explanation. ]
I know I wasn't the same under the curse. So there is reason to question that. And even then I knew what you did was not something you'd have done without some outside influence. And I know what you are and the risks in being close to you. I think you understand that I would know better than anyone here.
But you are my friend, D. And that hasn't changed.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-17 06:32 pm (UTC)It could happen again, even if you do taste terrible.
[The problem is that she smells and looks edible and now D knows what it feels like to sink his fangs into her throat. Even if the memory is tempered by that awful sweet but not sweet taste.]
no subject
Date: 2022-08-18 01:27 am (UTC)[ While she might wonder whether the bit about tasting terrible were an attempt at humor- she has doubts- Gaia decides to stick to a more serious response. ]
Setting aside any thoughts of doing something for my safety or my sake, do you want to end our friendship and keep distance? I mean what would you honestly like to do?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-21 06:04 am (UTC)I'm the one who attacked you and not the other way around.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-21 07:24 am (UTC)I just hope you understand that you don't have to nor do I want you to. But... I also don't want guilt you about it either. I mean if it makes you unhappy just to get close for my sake, I'd hardly want that.
[ And she certainly remembers the conversation they had commiserating how people have tried to make them conform. ]
But I'm also going to remind you that I've attacked the people I came to know as friends while I've been under someone or something else's influence back on my world. Twice, in fact and nothing to do with Trench. So it's not just a burden I'm taking from the memories I was given about you.
What your intentions are when you're yourself has been what's important to me. So... at least think about that.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-22 07:06 pm (UTC)Outside this place, even if I had managed to suppress the bite it would never go away. It would always be there, waiting.
There was never a time when I could see someone I've bitten as anything but a victim.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-22 08:22 pm (UTC)I mean, just because I didn't want to attack my friends or did it because of someone else's influence doesn't mean I didn't. That will always be a burden on me. It was their decision to accept me despite what happened.
And... who I once was or stood for.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-24 01:23 pm (UTC)I'll think about coming back.
I do have a lot of other responsibilities right now, that's not just an excuse.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-30 11:18 pm (UTC)[ And it's not a lie. ]
If you say you'll think about it, I believe you will. And if you have any other questions or want to talk, you've only to reach out and ask.
[ Sometimes, thinking about things does require more questions so she puts the offer on the table without pressing for it. ]
Regardless of whether you decide to come back, I do have one favor to ask.
Teach me how to fight against you. And others like you.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-01 02:57 am (UTC)You're already starting to move like me. I've seen it in the way you fight at the outpost and little habits.
And even if I had no reason to refuse, you would have to choose between being my student and being my friend.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-01 05:17 am (UTC)I won't say I'm not frustrated by that answer. But that would defeat the purpose of asking in the first place.
Given I'm asking a lot of you to even think about it, I thought I should at least improve my awareness. Friendship shouldn't be a burden. Much less one someone bears all the responsibility for.
[ After a second another text quickly arrives. ]
Okay I'll admit that made more sense in my thoughts.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-04 03:06 am (UTC)I'll come by again when I have time, but I do have a lot of responsibilities now.