Yes it's selfish, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily bad. And I'd prefer you to be honest. Though I at least hope you still want to be friends.
I just hope you understand that you don't have to nor do I want you to. But... I also don't want guilt you about it either. I mean if it makes you unhappy just to get close for my sake, I'd hardly want that.
[ And she certainly remembers the conversation they had commiserating how people have tried to make them conform. ]
But I'm also going to remind you that I've attacked the people I came to know as friends while I've been under someone or something else's influence back on my world. Twice, in fact and nothing to do with Trench. So it's not just a burden I'm taking from the memories I was given about you.
What your intentions are when you're yourself has been what's important to me. So... at least think about that.
Honestly, I think I'd feel the same way. About the bite, I mean. Even if it was because of something else.
I mean, just because I didn't want to attack my friends or did it because of someone else's influence doesn't mean I didn't. That will always be a burden on me. It was their decision to accept me despite what happened.
[ The response appears to warrant some though or collection of emotions. It's a bit before Gaia responds again. ]
I won't say I'm not frustrated by that answer. But that would defeat the purpose of asking in the first place.
Given I'm asking a lot of you to even think about it, I thought I should at least improve my awareness. Friendship shouldn't be a burden. Much less one someone bears all the responsibility for.
[ After a second another text quickly arrives. ]
Okay I'll admit that made more sense in my thoughts.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-08-21 06:04 am (UTC)I'm the one who attacked you and not the other way around.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-21 07:24 am (UTC)I just hope you understand that you don't have to nor do I want you to. But... I also don't want guilt you about it either. I mean if it makes you unhappy just to get close for my sake, I'd hardly want that.
[ And she certainly remembers the conversation they had commiserating how people have tried to make them conform. ]
But I'm also going to remind you that I've attacked the people I came to know as friends while I've been under someone or something else's influence back on my world. Twice, in fact and nothing to do with Trench. So it's not just a burden I'm taking from the memories I was given about you.
What your intentions are when you're yourself has been what's important to me. So... at least think about that.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-22 07:06 pm (UTC)Outside this place, even if I had managed to suppress the bite it would never go away. It would always be there, waiting.
There was never a time when I could see someone I've bitten as anything but a victim.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-22 08:22 pm (UTC)I mean, just because I didn't want to attack my friends or did it because of someone else's influence doesn't mean I didn't. That will always be a burden on me. It was their decision to accept me despite what happened.
And... who I once was or stood for.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-24 01:23 pm (UTC)I'll think about coming back.
I do have a lot of other responsibilities right now, that's not just an excuse.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-30 11:18 pm (UTC)[ And it's not a lie. ]
If you say you'll think about it, I believe you will. And if you have any other questions or want to talk, you've only to reach out and ask.
[ Sometimes, thinking about things does require more questions so she puts the offer on the table without pressing for it. ]
Regardless of whether you decide to come back, I do have one favor to ask.
Teach me how to fight against you. And others like you.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-01 02:57 am (UTC)You're already starting to move like me. I've seen it in the way you fight at the outpost and little habits.
And even if I had no reason to refuse, you would have to choose between being my student and being my friend.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-01 05:17 am (UTC)I won't say I'm not frustrated by that answer. But that would defeat the purpose of asking in the first place.
Given I'm asking a lot of you to even think about it, I thought I should at least improve my awareness. Friendship shouldn't be a burden. Much less one someone bears all the responsibility for.
[ After a second another text quickly arrives. ]
Okay I'll admit that made more sense in my thoughts.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-04 03:06 am (UTC)I'll come by again when I have time, but I do have a lot of responsibilities now.