I appreciate your review of my Trench retelling of my elopement with Charlotte. The corrupted hunter, rather than the Pthumerian, grabbing Charlotte is a literary improvement. Unfortunately, I must say I cannot entirely make sense of your other major change. Is it inspired by the attack on the Barbarois? I never had good footage of that.
Clarification for the change would be appreciated.
I see the parallels to Julia clearly. A well logicked point. However, I suspect that is not your only reason for suggesting it.
That could mean this Trench is the location whence we flee, with Julia—acting as Grove could—granting us the opportunity. [ If only things had gone down like that... ]
It may also be taken better by Sleepers and locals, both, not to be cast into roles of those nearly dooming the beloved couple. This is how even stories based on life become novels.
As the people here are as accepting as you say, I wonder what you could need it to do—save keep you out of any spotlight whatsoever. I included you not merely because you are a part of the story but because you too deserve to be accepted, as much as any vampire, on much the same grounds.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-12-22 05:13 am (UTC)I appreciate your review of my Trench retelling of my elopement with Charlotte. The corrupted hunter, rather than the Pthumerian, grabbing Charlotte is a literary improvement. Unfortunately, I must say I cannot entirely make sense of your other major change. Is it inspired by the attack on the Barbarois? I never had good footage of that.
Clarification for the change would be appreciated.
Sincerely,
Mayerling
[ Attached is another copy of the fairy tale. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 01:15 am (UTC)his body while his power was working, as if he was asleep and dreaming.
You might change where it's set as well, perhaps to the false trench run by the cult?
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 02:08 am (UTC)I see the parallels to Julia clearly. A well logicked point. However, I suspect that is not your only reason for suggesting it.
That could mean this Trench is the location whence we flee, with Julia—acting as Grove could—granting us the opportunity. [ If only things had gone down like that... ]
It may also be taken better by Sleepers and locals, both, not to be cast into roles of those nearly dooming the beloved couple. This is how even stories based on life become novels.
Sincerely,
Mayerling
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 02:23 am (UTC)The people here are unusually accepting of other species, save when pthumerian influence drives us apart.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 02:36 am (UTC)As the people here are as accepting as you say, I wonder what you could need it to do—save keep you out of any spotlight whatsoever. I included you not merely because you are a part of the story but because you too deserve to be accepted, as much as any vampire, on much the same grounds.
Yes, Pthumerian influence... is something.
Sincerely,
Mayerling
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 02:54 am (UTC)If I am to be accepted, I prefer it to be for myself, and not what you wish I had been.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-30 02:58 am (UTC)You are the hero of many stories. You never stick around anywhere to hear them.
Fair. I know I have... my biases toward your actions in the chase.
I appreciate what you did with Carmilla.
Sincerely,
Mayerling